Breakin’ Out – a lenten meditation

A Lenten meditation written on a spiritual weekend. a great way to peruse the meanings of Lent. 

BREAKIN’ OUT (A Lenten Meditation)

It started out as a good day, 
A Friday I believe it was. 
It was just another weekend 
To “billow our sails” as it oft does. 
Then came along this “Jesus” thing 
I gathered from flappin’ jaws
He was “just another madman, 
Dyin’ for a silly cause.”

Another band of followers, 
Scraggly, poor misguided and blind 
You’d think they’d see clear through him, 
His scheme and purpose behind 
All his syrupy kindness, 
The miracles and stuff- 
But as the floggings weakened him 
You could see he wasn’t that tough.

Although it was somewhat curious 
The manner this person held 
After being beat and spat upon 
His fiery eyes “Love” spelled.
For many stood by watching- 
I felt sorry for the chap 
Especially when they donned him 
With the robe and thorny cap.

I remember quite clearly 
My own mouth parched and dried; 
The thirst I knew was his own 
Dragging the tree undignified. 
Thank goodness for those women 
Weeping loudly there close by. 
They at least had a chance to help him 
And wiped his sweat-face dry.

There was another Godsend; 
Simon, I think his name ran; 
A passer-by, pressed into service. 
What an ill-chosen man. 
Then I’ve often pondered 
That there may have been a “glue,” 
A mysterious force of love, or such
That welded the hearts of the two.

There we were, trudging along now, 
Up to the hill of the Skull. 
We all knew what was at the top- 
In the mayhem there was a slight lull. 
I heard one stander-by’s deep gasp 
As they laid him on the tree–
“Why are they nailing him alone? 
Why not just tie all three?”

The soldiers pounded those fat wrist nails.
It was apparent they must be assured 
That this Jesus whom they crucified 
For all time would be secured.
When I saw this innocent young man 
My heart began to boil 
As they lifted him high in agony, 
My mind in fierce turmoil!

Just for a split second there 
I saw him looking at me 
Out of the crowds around us 
Into MY heart he could see. 
Open the window of your soul, 
Close your eyes for a moment or two. 
See those pained, kind eyes of Jesus 
Looking you through and through.

“I never did great wrongs, dear Sir” 
“Yes, but you’re far from me—
Come closer, I’ll give you joy and peace 
And set your bound heart free.”
Right then my palms began to sweat 
I could see that he was right. 
Where was the joy, the peace, the hope 
I’d fought for with all my might?

His searching gaze as I beheld 
Said plain enough to me 
“Come closer, I’ve done all the work 
Give me YOU, and I’ll set you free.” 
That’s what I did midst the bustling noise 
As I saw him drinking the gall.
“Take my angry, selfish ‘me’—
Just as I am” – and He took it all.

I hung around till just before three, 
The crowds had all gone but a few. 
A storm was blackening the skies. 
A threatening uneasiness grew. 
For the first time in a while He spoke- 
“Forgive them. They know not what they do” 
As in a cry of deep anguish
He began shouting Psalm Twenty-Two.

He looked at his mother 
And a man named John, 
And afterwards gazed at me. 
“It is finished,” He gasped in his final breath 
But I knew that’s not all there’d be.
The lightning, the clouds and the furious rain, 
The ground shaking under my feet, 
Are all but a lost, fading memory 
As I went over to take my seat
Beside John and His mother Mary, 
Where we sat for the rest of the day, 
Crying, sobbing and searching 
For words–but there was nothing to say.

I helped them take Him down from the cross 
Carrying him to the tomb.
We heaved and shoved this huge round rock 
To seal off that precious room
Where all my life’s past doubts were laid, 
And all my future’s dreams, 
For I had given away my heart… 
My loves, my worries, and schemes.

I knew that something more must come, 
Just what I couldn’t tell. 
All Saturday we moped around 
And, I’m sure felt a taste of Hell.
The doubts, the fears and loneliness 
Threatened to choke our light. 
Where would we go, what would we do? 
“Father, hear us in our plight!”

That night’s sleep was a fitful one, 
Must have waked a dozen times. 
But finally came the Sunday dawn 
Roused by the temple chimes.
As I got dressed and ready to go 
There was a frantic knock at the door. 
Mary, hysterically happy with joy, 
Cried, “Jesus’ body–it is no more!”

It was hard to make sense of her scattered words. 
Thank goodness for Peter and John, 
Who both appeared at that very moment 
Confirming the body was gone.
I didn’t know to be joyous or sad 
Till they explained just what it meant: 
“He said that in three days He’d rise’, 
He’s finally Death’s bonds rent!”

I am not sure how that spoke to them, 
I know what it said to me. 
That short time I looked into his eyes 
And gave all, had set me free.
Not that it was me at all, 
It was He who lured me in. 
It was He who gave my heart the call, 
And He who broke my sin.

Many years have past since that day 
Yet I’m as close right now 
To Jesus as I was back then 
When I close my eyes and bow.
I can feel Him in the very room—
A Peace just permeates all. 
My heart begins to burn like fire 
When I’m quiet to hear His call.
He is the Risen Lord, indeed, 
He’s conquered death and sin 
And vitally important for me
He’s set all aright within.

Jon Jacobs ©2011 a meditation received on my personal weekend

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